Train Up a Child
Proverb 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
I have heard this verse preached that if you as a parent train your child in Christian living and under the authority of Scripture that when they are older in their teen years, they will not depart from their teaching. I am sure if you have reared a 2-3 year old- you wonder will I ever make it past this stage? Will they ever potty train? Will they listen to me again? Why do they say no? How did my sweet little baby turn into this terrorist where negotiations never seem to go anywhere?
I heard a joke once, “What is the difference between a toddler and a terrorist? Terrorist are easier to negotiate with.” Is that true?
Some are blessed to have that easy toddler that does whatever you want whenever you want. I did not.
There are some down sides to having an extremely intelligent child. That is they find more ways to get into things and thwart your plans than the average child.
I believe this verse speaks more about training a heart and molding a child and not just in spiritual discipline. Every child- EVERY child (special needs or neuro-typical) has a bent. They have a temperament, a personality, likes, dislikes, talents and giftings, and challenges. As a parent we need to observe our children and see what it is they are good and love to do and encourage them in those strengths and yes, we work on the struggles and challenges but we don’t try to push them to be someone they are not.
My oldest had this amazing hair when she was young and just over all where ever we go people just awed and fell over themselves over her because she is so beautiful and was so articulate for a toddler. I got this bright idea to put her in pageants. She hated them and she tried to tell me she hated them, but I had dreams of grandeur with her in commercials and other avenues to “show her off” so to speak.
Problem: she hates public attention, she has no ability to “act a certain way” to be liked or get points, and she stood out as different. However she normally placed or got “most photogenic” or “best model” or some other little acknowlegment. She got a call back to be looked at for commercials and I was thrilled. However, even at 3 -4 she let me know she did not like this. I pushed for a little while, got upset when she did not “perform” right and convinced myself it was for her future and better good.
NOPE! We end up turning down the children’s modeling agency that wanted her. Why? It was not her bent or her gifting. It was a huge challenge because she is awkward in social settings and when “under pressure.” I did not get that.
I think of how many times we as parents try to force our child into a sport or music or art and the child hates it and does not go well. That does more to damage self- esteem than build it. If they feel they can never measure up or please you- this breaks them not molds them. I have taken care to be mindful of that with social activities. What did God gift her with? What does she enjoy? How can I bend/mold her and train her in her God’s given gift to her. I learned that is part of the spiritual training. Not just verses and doctrine which are important, but finding the diamond in the rough God placed in them and being a part of the refining process instead of turning the child against me and their talents because I tried to make them something they are not. Note to self: Remember that when she is in college if she picks a major or career that I might not have chosen:)